Traditional Thai Marriage

The marriage ceremony is a very important ceremony because it places value on that moment when two beings will be united in a bond which will influence the rest of their lives. Because the future lies in the compatibility of this union, the Thai marriage ceremony must start off in a beautiful and sacred way. The relatives and friends of the bride and groom will witness this union of love.

No two countries have the same kind of wedding ceremony. Even within one country, there are variations. In the old days matchmaking in Thailand was done by the adult members of the family. Today this is not so prevalent. Whatever the case, a Thai marriage always begins with the formal proposal.

Approval of relatives is most important because unlike the situation in the West, relatives and parents of the bridal couple must almost always be in constant contact if not actually living in the same house with the married couple.

Astrologers must be consulted beforehand to see if the stars of those to be married are compatible. A representative from the groom's side must be the person who asks for the bride's hand formally. This person must be of reputable standing in society possibly well-to-do to do honor to the bride. Most of the time it is the groom's parents who come to ask for the bride's hand from her parents.

The engagement ceremony must take place before the wedding, but, to be economical, some couples hold the engagement and wedding ceremony on the same day. The Thai people believe that August is the most auspicious month for weddings. The first month in the traditional Thai astrological chart falls in December.

August is the ninth month of the yea and is called 'duan kao'. 'Duan' means month and 'kao' has several meanings for example, to take steps forward or to progress, is one such meaning and the number nine is another. If a separate house has been built for the bride and groom, the wedding ceremony will begin with a house-warming ceremony. This begins in the morning with the chanting of the monks, following which the couple must offer them food. After the monks' meal, the senior monk will go around to bless the house and the whole gathering with holy water.

In the late afternoon, arrangements are made for the couple to receive blessings. A flat couch wide and long enough to hold a variety of articles is brought out; and when the auspicious moment arrives, the couple seat themselves in a crouched position, their hands in a gesture of prayer. The bowl beneath their praying hands holds water. Another bowl beside them contains bay leaves and fragrant ointment in a ceramic or metal container. The guests will queue up to pour water from a conch shell on the bridal couple's hands or heads. The celebration draws to a close with a grand dinner in the evening.